“I’m sooooo mad at YOU! You’re an asshole! A butthead, stupid, you’ve no idea who I am nor what I’ve done for you, you, you ungrateful son-of-a-bitch!!!!”

Otis has me rubber-banded within both his arms, he is holding me down! This reminds me of a past life when they had me in a straitjacket, tied to an iron pole, in a darkened room with no windows.

No matter how loud I screamed, how much I cried, no one would come. Now, this is happening again! Otis is the insane asylum attendant who had wrongfully accused me of being insane! When he is the one who is insane!

He whispers in my ear, “I love you…” very softly.

Oh, demonic! He is trying to convince me I am insane! “NO! You’re trying to trick me!” I stomp on his bare feet with the heel of my shoe. I can feel him wince in pain when the heel hits his big toe. “Ouch!”

He momentarily loses track of his strong hold on me and I wiggle my body out but he reacts fast and doubles his attack on me by embracing me even harder. I jab him with my elbow and hit his 6th and 7th true ribs which I know really hurts! True ribs are those first seven brittle and thin long strips of bone that connect to the spine and the sternum. When you jab someone with your elbow you aim for the true ribs, not the false ribs which are not connected to the spine and chest and therefore will hurt less. I learned that from my first husband. Thanks!

Otis’s face is blood red and he’s straining for air. He yells out, “Aiyahhh, aiyahh…” Good! I’ve successfully hurt him bad! Then he does something very strange, he puckers his lips, sticks his filthy mouth to my face and attempts to kiss me! What a demon he is! I slip my arm upward and push on his throat to block his face from getting too close to me. “Get away from me! You fool!!!!”

Otis says in a low growl, “I love you… I love you…I love you…”

Suddenly, something hits me. I hear music! That song, that song I heard nine years ago when we had our first fight in that Japanese restaurant. That was the first time I saw the Black Witch living inside me while looking at the wall mirrors by our table.

“First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.” That’s the title of the song! I listen more carefully to the music. Suddenly in my imagination, I am standing in a dark and endless sky and Otis flies by bringing me a gift of moon and stars….

For a moment, I stand stunned, looking at Otis, wondering who he is. Slowly my ears regain their ability to hear word for word what he is saying. Otis sees that I’ve calmed down and gingerly keeps up his chant. “I love you… I love you…”

We are naked in bed. Otis has a cup of tea for me. He has that little blue bottle he keeps in his freeze and now he drops three drops of his own homemade cannabis tincture into my tea. “Here, take this, a bit of medicine.”

“It’s okay to have weed?”

“Cannabis is a very powerful medicine.”

I chuckle a little, “a litl’drop’ll’do’ya!” I take a little sip of the tea, put it on the night table and then get comfortable with my man by throwing my long slender leg over his and curling my body all around his. I pull on his chest hair. I have a hairy man…

“I stompededed on your big toe, jabed-eded you…”. When we’re in our inner child selves, we speak in baby voices and use “eded” in everything that requires past tense.

“…and pusheded really hard on my throat with your armie! It hurtededed my throat!” He laughs good naturally.

I’m so impressed! He is not even requiring me to say sorry so I say it anyway. “I’m soooorry…” in a baby voice.

“Sall’right…” He wiggles his head like that 2-and-a-half-year-old who is living inside him still. He is just a small boy who loves me and I’m just a small girl who loves him. I’ve found my “boy-next-door” in Otis.

“How come you not mad at me?”

“Oh, I figure there are four girls in you, right?”

“Yeah… and four boys in you…”

“So each pair has to have a time to be themselves. That means our relationship has to go through play time for the inner children, fight time for the witch and wizard, work time for the wounded mother and father in us, and sexy time… Fight time is just as valid as play time, work time and sexy time. I’m not mad.”

“Do you remember Thomas Warren?”

Otis shakes his head. “No, who is Thomas Warren?”

“He’s that Confederate soldier who got his arms and legs blown away.”

“I don’t remember him at all.”

“Well, we did a Soul Retrieval together and I remember him well. He is why you want to have sex with 300 to 600 girls.”

“Is that what he wants to do?”

“He wants proper arms and legs too.”

Otis wiggles his arms and legs, “Thomas, got cha covered!” I love how handsome my man is. I imagine him looking really smashing in that grey confederate uniform. I try to talk to him in his slang way. “You so fly man!”

“Yeah?” He is smitten. Men like to be loved by their women and this man is no exception. Otis has a painting in his bedroom that says, “HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE.” That says it all.

I take another sip of tea. I’m feeling pretty good. Otis brushes his finger tips very lightly on my the sides of my body, the long strip between the front and the back, that place where only a lover knows to touch, light, ever so gently…

“Hum….” Hum, just three little drops of cannabis is doing a number on my whole body. My senses are heightened and I feel Otis’ touch as tiny tingles that shoot up and down my whole chakra system. My kundalini rises gently and lightly but unmistakably, like a snake, waking up, wiggling upward, connecting with the counter current that is also a snake… I close my eyes and enjoy the moment.

“Jenny?” Otis says hopefully. “Jenny, is that you? Have you come out?”

I look at him through my misty eyes. Freak out! I’m stoned! Jenny is definitely out. The rest of the girls – Chu Dai Hing, Lucy and VV – are amazed how effective a micro dose of weed is doing to them. My three girls are all watching Jenny, doing some wiggling and little smiles, batting her eyes… the dance of the Prostitute! I am delighted how expertly Jenny can woo a man… Otis smiles.

Jenny observes her man and realizes he is not stoned. Ah… Jenny remembers something, “Thomas Warren likes to drink…”

Otis wrinkles his brows. “Alcohol?”

“Yep… he loves to get drunk and make love… right now you’re too straight, I think you should take some sake!” Jenny leaps out of bed and runs to the kitchen. I had bought a bottle of Japanese sake just for this occasion and now Jenny heats a little glass. She presents the warm fragrant creamy white liquor to her lover.

Otis pushes it away. “I don’t like to drink…” Indeed he has always disliked people who drink. It was because of his encouragement that we both quit drinking nine years ago. Being an alcoholic ruined forty-five years of my life. Once I quit I never looked back. But, somehow, some way, maybe Thomas Warren pulled some strings in the etheric field and I bought this bottle of sake.

“Give it a try! Like me who is giving weed a try. Just a sip, one sip, micro dose it. One’litl’sip’ll’do’ya!” Otis looks at me with doubtful eyes but he gingerly takes a long pull of the sake.

Holy shit! Just like that, one mouthful is all it took for Thomas Warren to be freed! Otis turns into the man who is getting one more chance in a new body complete with arms and legs and the opportunity to make love to a girl he loves.

The rest is love making, real and true.


As I drift into dreamland holding my man, smelling his sweat, feeling his warmth…

I hear Philip’s voice in my ear, “I’m insane! I’m retarded! I’m not good enough! I’m bad to you! I slap your cheek! Give me love. Accept me. Don’t hate me. Don’t get mad at me. Love me anyway! Take that final step today: Love without reservation! You will erase time. Time will cease to exist, time will stand still. Eternity begins, Heaven on Earth, everywhere is love. LOVE ME ANYWAY.”

“Okay, Philip. I’ve got to get some sleep now…”

He smiles happily.



Magnum Opus Copyright © 2016 by Funkmeyer Bookies. All Rights Reserved.


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