29 Mahco! Polo!

I don’t know if screaming did it or maybe Philip pulled some strings in the etheric field but things took a sudden fortunate turn for me.

Otis lands in Thailand. For two weeks, he is in a slump, in the deepest depression he has ever faced. He makes videos and blogs about how shitty he feels. The man totally fell apart. The other woman arrived from Portland to be with him. Two weeks later, their relationship fizzles out as well. I don’t exactly know what happened. All I know is that I was duly informed.

The first thought that comes to my mind is: love is mightier than the sword. The love in my heart is reflected in my reality. That’s how the monks built the Basilica! I laugh out loud! Holy shit! Holy, holy shit!

The voice in his head tells Otis to stay in Thailand for three months and he is staying.

She returns to America alone. Out of the blue, I happen to be in San Francisco, where she lands, on the day she arrives. I request to see her. She graciously agrees and we meet in her childhood home. She looks so sad. I feel for her. I know what it’s like to give up everything for love and then be heartbroken. Love is a strange teacher. She is only a child.

She tells me that Otis said the relationship between them is not good for her and that she is too good to be his stand-by sex toy. When it comes down to it, she wants to have a family. Otis has never been interested in having children. Otis and I consider our creative work to be our children.

She tells me, “We met in 2010 when you guys had broken up and he was a single man. Years later, I hear how you guys are always fighting so I think that maybe he wants me… but I was wrong. It’s baffling to me that he actually gave up wild sex, full body massages, love and devotion and the chance to have a family for a ‘soul journey’ with an old lady.”

I am surprised too and, of course, delighted but I still resent being called an ‘old lady.’ I am three-and-a-half years-old, I am fourteen, I am a young mother/filmmaker/entrepreneur and an ageless black witch! None of that sounds like old lady to me!

After I go home, I receive a text from her.

“Jenny. It was so good to talk with you. What a profound and intimate thing to share with a woman – love for the same man! It felt like all those things that one can never fully explain, never fully do justice to, because they happen in the universe of the relationship, because it would take lifetimes to explain the lifetimes that led to each occurrence, dynamic and tendency, were simply understood. It makes me feel so seen and completed by you. It helps me see you in the similarities and differences that we’ve been through and chosen. It brings me to a deeper level of love and respect for you and for what the three of us did together. Thank you for your kindness, generosity and wisdom. Thank you. I love you.”

I send her a text back:
“Your message is beautiful and the meaning profound. Full of love and eloquence. U expressed my feelings too. U r an amazing writer! You came from unconventional women who explored the frontier of what’s socially acceptable in relationships. You have just pushed the envelope further. I love you. Thank you for being a part of our family. This love is for eternity.”

Our hearts are open. I really like her. We both love the same man. How special is this?!

Three months later…

The email subject is “Coming home!” and the message reads, “My sweet girl, cute girl how I love thee! I am so very excited about our future and all of the projects we have going on together! Life has definitely taken a turn of acceleration and excitement! I celebrate you as our relationship takes on more twists and turns, I’m excited dat we still in love and best friends and partners and each other’s gurus and teachers! Kiss 💋 kiss 💋”

He takes a boat, a bus, a train, a taxi and a subway to get to Bangkok airport. Then he flies to Shanghai for a ten hour layover. Then he flies to Denver for another six hour layover before arriving in LA. The entire return took him two days. Ahem, because he bought the cheapest ticket available. I love how dumb and smart this man is!

I spent those two days cooking. I know he’s always hungry when he arrives home. The door opens and there he is! We hug and kiss!

“Oh my god, I’m hungry!”

“I know. I made some food!” I lay out the food to his delight. We sit down to eat.

The man goes into shovel mode. The Prostitute nibbles a bit with her fingertips while she watches him eat. She enjoys watching him more than eating the food herself, feasting her eyes on her man feasting. She asks, “Did you get around to having sex with men in Thailand?”

Otis says, “I was in a hotel room with a man who never had sex with a woman before whereas I am a man who never had sex with a man before. It was a funny situation.”

“What a liberated world we live in.”

“He was willing but I didn’t feel like having sex with him. I didn’t have much sex.”

“What about… her? She is a very sexy girl. She didn’t want you to have sex with her?”

“No, I was too depressed. In fact, she complained that we don’t have enough sex by her standards.”

The Prostitute tries to wrap her mind around the fact that, in New Reality, some women want sex more than men, which directly confronts the stereotype that men are the aggressors and women the receivers.

“While you were gone, I took a breath workshop at this New Moon goddess gathering.”

“Wha?” The man is speaking through his full mouth.


“The new Silicon Beach. Very hip.”

“That old church. The Hare Krishnas moved out and a group of hippies moved in. Now the new age church is the hot spot of Venice. The beautiful church was lit up by hundreds of candles. The air was filled with the sweet scent of rose, witch’s brew, myrrh and sage. Among the crystals, Buddha and Krishna statues, were thirty beautiful women of all ages lying on yoga mats.”

“Oh, all women. Boring!”

“I know. I like men. So, just women gathering is a big bore for me too.”

“Why did you go?”

The Prostitute gives him the eye and sighs to herself. He knows nothing about her as she continues to describe the event. “The shaman/priestess/head goddess opened the ceremony by instructing all to breathe in a particular pattern. I began to take in large gulps of oxygen through my mouth, I focused on expanding my lungs and throwing my awareness out of my crown chakra. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Suddenly, my breath stops!”

He looks up quizzically.

“No air in, no air out. I am sitting in a pool of stillness so deep that my mind goes blank. Nothing. I am nothing. I was the void! Normally you ‘go’ into the void but here in the breathless state, I AM THE VOID!”

“Yo, this is good meditation! I wanna try!”

“Then, boom! A feeling flies up from the base of my spine, twisting and turning, shooting up like a volcano rushing straight to my gut. Out of nowhere, I can hear myself making involuntary sounds. Shit! I’ve lost control of my vocal cords!”

“Like how?”

I demonstrate, twisting my body, moaning and groaning. “Like yum, yum, yummmmm! OOOOOouchhhhh! Garlooop! Kah kah kah!” Fake sex is the Prostitute’s special talent!

Otis laughs, “That good?!”

“My head exploded into a mighty headache. My cocked eyes suddenly released themselves and popped out of my sockets as I went dang, dang, dang! DANG!”

Otis hollers, “You came?”


“That’s so good!”

“Afterwards, my hands were tingling, my feet were ice cold, my butt cheeks were knocking against one another. My entire body was sopping with sweat and my underwear was wet, the wetness was dripping down my thighs.”

“Yeaaaaaaah?” I got the man to really pay attention.

“I looked around the room to see if the other Goddesses had the same orgasmic experience but everyone seemed very normal.”

He stops chewing. “That’s quite an intense orgasm!”

“I felt so good the next few days. My body was just very relaxed.”

“Your body can still come, it’s not a physical thing! It’s proof that your body still enjoys sex.”

Tilting my head and shaking my feet in that sexy girl way that Otis loves, the Prostitute milks the situation to the max. “Hum, we can have sex in this crazy, 5D way by just breathing together!”

He throws his head back and laughs, “You’re so far out! But no! That’s not sex, no matter how you put it. Sex is sex!”

For some reason, his comment makes the Prostitute sigh wistfully. “I told you already, I don’t want to have sex like that.”
Otis notices that I’m not wearing our wedding ring. “Where are our rings?”

Before he left, we had a massive fight at the Farmer’s Market at The Grove. In rage, he threw his wedding ring at me. The Prostitute promptly got on her knees to look for it while he took off on his bicycle. She is mad about this still.

The Prostitute says, “It’s too late now. I took my ring off too.”

Otis is desperate, “You didn’t throw them away, did you?!”

The Prostitute gives him the eye–the look made famous by the Prostitute’s character in the Peking Opera “The Flowery Tragedy of a Princess Prostitute.” “Throw away the rings?! Are you crazy? Throw out real, true, gold custom carved rings! Of course I didn’t throw them away!”

Otis pleads, “I want to wear it. I want you to wear it.”

All the girls inside me are now drooling, “Yes!” Except the Black Witch says, “No, you cannot have your ring back. I’m hurt.”
Otis says, “What can I do to make it up to you. Please tell me. Can I kiss your toes?”

The Inner Child is laughing so hard within me that a smile escapes onto my face. Otis sees the smile and hugs me tenderly. The Child makes me nod. “Yes, you kiss my toes and say sorrrrry.”

Otis asks, “How many times?”

The Child says, “Two kisses per toe.”

Otis asks, “From big toe to small toe?”

The Child, “From baby toe…”, she points to the baby toe on the left, “…to baby toe,” she points to the baby toe on the right.

He tries to lift my feet off of the ground but the Witch holds them firmly to the ground and won’t let him. Otis gets on his knees and kisses my toes one by one in the most tender way. When he finishes, he stays kneeling and says, “Will you forgive me?”

The Child nods. The Prostitute nods. The Mother nods. Even the Black Witch nods. I’m overjoyed. I say, “The rings are in front of Buddha.”

Otis says, “That’s so good.” He retrieves the rings.

Otis looks into my eyes and asks, “Will you be my best friend and soulmate forever and ever, no beginning and no end?” All of my girls are in love with him and we say yes in unison.

I look into Otis’s eyes and ask, “When I call Mahco will you, no matter where you are, no matter if you are dead or alive, near or far, in this galaxy or the next, in this dimension or another, in time eternal, answer me?”

Otis says, “Polo.”

I slip the ring on him, “Mahco!”

He slips the ring back onto my finger, “Polo!”


Magnum Opus Copyright © 2016 by Funkmeyer Bookies. All Rights Reserved.


Comments are closed.