Otis and I maintain a long distance relationship. We’re good friends now. We talk regularly. He doesn’t talk much about his life with the other woman but I know he is happy.
During this time, I start a school to teach metaphysical subjects like spoon bending. The school keeps me very busy. I turn my mind to running the new business.
I’m sitting at a large table at my local coffeeshop when three people sit down across from me: a middle aged couple and a girl in her early twenties. They order three expensive dishes along with bottles of expensive spring water and lattes. These three people are obviously wealthy and don’t mind flaunting it.
I compare Otis and I to them. I like that Otis and I usually share one dish and one drink – we’re frugal. I am frugal, well, stingy if you put it in negative terms. Anyway, all this thinking makes me appreciate Otis.
I eavesdrop as they banter in accented English. The man is the boss. He blasts orders to the young girl and she meekly jots down his wishes. He turns to the older lady, blasts orders at her and she blasts back. “Do it yourself!” Haha! I like her. I initiate a friendly conversation and find out that the man is a prominent art dealer, the young girl is his secretary and the older lady is his partner.
I ask them, “What do you want most from life?”
The man says, “Power.”
The young girl says, “Happiness.”
I inquire, “Not love?”
She demurs, “Love I have.” She bats her eyes at him.
The wife responds, “She does…for now,” and smirks.
Oh, the young girl is the man’s assistant and lover! Judging by her condescending smirk, I guess that the wife, called Rosie, has seen this relationship pattern before. Little does the young girl know, it won’t last. Okay, I get it.
Rosie says, “We were married seventeen years ago. We have a seventeen year-old son. I divorced him years ago, when our son was very young.”
“Oh, so you’re still friends?”
Rosie says, “More than friends – we had another son six years ago.”
“Wow, you had another child after you got divorced?”
“Yep! Marriage didn’t suit us. I like him but I feel much better without being married to him.”
For fear of being too “uncool,” I didn’t ask if they live together. I continue to observe them. In my imagination, they have several big houses located all over the world. Sometimes he is here and sometimes she is there. Freedom.
Freedom to love and freedom to be. Freedom is good.
In the new age circle, many believe that love should be unconditional. All the conditions we place on ourselves and on our love distort love’s true meaning. What if we were free to love. Just love. Always love. No conditions.
That night, I mull over the meaning of love. My heart aches for my lover, yet is on fire with the possibility that I can love him no matter what. The thought makes me feel really proud of myself. Look at me! I am practicing the highest spiritual path. I laugh to myself with this realization. In a twisted way, unconditional love is the most selfish kind of self-love there is!